| Location | Pontypridd |
| Age | 14 years |
| Cause of Death | Cancer |
| Date of Birth | 20/12/1994 |
| Date of Death | 20/02/2009 |
| Visitors | 1,467 since 03/05/2009 |
| Creator |
After an unbelievably brave fight against the complications of Neurofibromatosis, my wonderful
son CeeJay, died of a Malignant Peripheral Nerve Sheath Tumour on the 20th February 2009.
CeeJay was an amazingly beautiful child who had a life time of poking, prodding, pain and
disability. Somehow he found a way to keep smiling every day and live life to the full. He loved
playing with his friends, going to school and perfecting his skills on the playstation. If you have
the time, please take a moment to read the Eulogy at the beginning of the tribute section. It was
read at his funeral on my behalf and is a lovely insight into the boy I was privileged to call my
son.
CeeJay is terribly missed not only by me, his dad Lee, his elder sisters Sarah and Danielle, his
younger brother Nick, his 'baby' sister Naeve and all the other close family members who loved him
so dearly; but also by the absolutely huge number of people that he touched during his brief time
with us.
His ability to endear himself to others was perhaps most obvious when he hung on in there to see his
14th birthday in December 2008 and received over 350 birthday cards and celebratory wishes from
people all over the world.
CeeJay never knew he was dying. When the disease ran its course in the latter stages he battled
cruel pain, exhuastion and physical degeneration. Instead of bemoaning his lot he spent the time he
had each day looking for something to take pleasure in. A snatch of a TV programe late at night
just the two of us. A part of a playstation game with a friend. A tiny mouthful of a chocolate
muffin. My son, no more than a child, taught me about bravery, spirit and living every moment to
the best.
The memory of his laugh and sunny outlook on life is his legacy to all who knew him.
You've taken your laughter and ready smile to heaven my son. Fly high and sleep softly with the
angels. xxx
Hi Sweetie
I've not had chance to get on for a bit CeeJay...
Recovering from my surgery and lo and behold Daddy's been taken ill and at the transplant clinic they've admitted him to the ward... He's got some sort of bug which has caused his special kidney to shut down and made him pretty ill...
All a little bit too much happening in too short a time - still can't get my head around you not being here and now Daddy being so ill too...
Love and miss you so very much x
CHRISTOPHER
This day will be a celebration
of the short time you were here.
You will always be remembered
with great love and many tears.
But to only feel pain and sorrow
would not be fair to you.
Your life meant so much more to us,
more than words could say.
You were here so briefly,
I wonder if you knew
all the ways you’ve touched
our world and our hearts
and everyone who knew you
since the day God called you home.
Now my child, you’re an angel
with your heavenly Father above,
we see not only what we’ve lost
but our capacity of love.
There will always be a big void
in our life and a hole in our
hearts that will never heal.
Our souls will grieve forever.
Will we forget or stop loving you?
No! Not now…not ever.
As this day is upon us,
oh, how our hearts still hurt.
But even as I mourn your death,
we will always celebrate your birth.
It was the happiest day of our lives.
════╔══╗gone but
════║══║not forgotten
═╔══╝══╚══╗xoxoxoxo
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═╚══╗══╔══╝
════║══║
════║══║
════║══║
════║══║
All my Love Gloria Anthony's Mom
Have a nice weekend xoxo
Hi Sweetie
Well it's been an upsy downsy time. My head seems to be healing up ok although a way to go yet but Dad's not been well and the doctors think his special kidney might be getting very tired. He's having some more tests done so it's a bit of a waiting game. Definitely not turning out to be a year I'll look back on fondly CeeJay.
It's Sarah's birthday today - we missed you being here. And with Father's Day on Sunday it's all a bit of a muddle. I hope Gramps is keeping an eye on you - I still haven't quite got around the idea of my father and son being together and me not being able to see either of you.
So I wrote a poem to Gramps. Can you pass it on to him for me honey?
You held me as a baby
And pledged to love me true
Even with our ups and downs
You never changed your view
You stood so tall and proud
My rock and my best friend
You would never, ever leave me
On that I did depend
You never wavered in your love
There was always time for me
A daughter you were proud of
That’s all I aimed to be
You went on your new journey
I thought my heart would break
My dad was my forever man
I’ve never soothed the ache
Another soul has joined you
My child, my eldest son
I need you to take care of him
Until my time down here is done
My arms still ache to hold him
He was only just fourteen
Please nurture him and hold him close
The rock you’ve always been
Love you son x
lit with love for you a very special young man xx love to all your family and friends keep shining your love on them xx
Hey Son
I've been AWOL for a little while. I had a phone call asking if I could get to the hospital that afternoon for surgery the next day. A bit of a shock it has to be said and probably even more so for the rest of the tribe when they came home from school to find me gone.
The doc did what he said he would and fiddled and faffed around in my head and neck. Missing some skull bone and a vertebrae or two but it's healing cleanly. It's officially on record that not only did they confirm I have a brain but it must have been too big for my head to have fallen out so much :-)
It's all a little sore to say the least and I'm hobbling around slowly like a 90yr old. You'd laugh no doubt! I did put your sit and ride to good use son and used it to get around the hospital. Came home a little too early but your little sis was crying down the phone to me and the other two were pretty distressed too. A little too close to losing you for them to deal particularly well with me disappearing off I think.
Staples (all 26 of them in the nape of my neck!) out on Friday and hopefully, when it's all healed up I'll be able to have a good laugh one day without it being so painful. Coughing and sneezing without passing out would be a real bonus too! :-)
I so want to be able to think of you and laugh or at least smile instead of crying. Not quite there yet by a long shot but I hope it'll happen one day. It does you no justice to shed tears in your memory when you smiled your way through life as much as you did.
Love you and miss you so very much honey x
Hi Son
Well it's fourteen weeks today since you left us honey and it's a hard road to walk I've got to be honest. I think I'd do absolutely anything if it meant you could come home.
I was always tuned into you a little differently to the rest of the tribe and I miss that 'sense' of you so very much. Heck, I can even track it back to when I was pregnant sitting in Auntie Gail's office and telling her I knew there was something amiss with this babe I was carrying. I didn't even know if you were a boy or a girl and hadn't seen your face but I just sensed something. Lo and behold we were told about the NF when you were 9mths old. That 'sense' never left really. I always knew when you were up or down and what was going on with your illness. I even knew, and prayed so hard I was wrong, that there'd been a malignant change before the clinical investinations started. When you were born I sensed that I had you on loan and it's just so very hard that it all came true and that you had to die in such a way. I always thought we were so lucky to have the notice period and to spend the time with you making memories. I'm not sure now if the price you paid was just too high.
My only wish my son is that I could have made that stage of your illness 'right' for you the way we'd muddled through everything else that had cropped up.
I needed you honey as much as you needed me I think. It makes every day without you so very hard even though the rest of the family are doing their best to keep me busy and smiling.
One day son we'll be together again and I look forward to that very much x
Just For You
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.
That verse from the poem by WH Auden seems to suit so very well son... Miss you so very much... x
Can you hear me when I talk to you? Do the words I say ever make it through? Can you hear me when I talk to you? 'Cause I'd give anything if I knew
Hey Honey ;-)
Dad, Danielle and me went to choose the photographs we had taken from last year...
A 12 x 15 of the four of you for the wall and a neat book of smaller prints... Can't wait for them to be completed now - it'll be nice to see you looking down from a picture in the lounge...
Had a hard job choosing which photos of your brother to have... He really took advantage at that session and there's some fabulous pictures of him... He's grown so much the last few weeks Chris - almost as tall now as you were I think... Drop by and give him a prod some time just to let him know you're around... He does miss you and in all fairness to the kid he was very good at running around after you whilst you were ill... He started athletics in his games lesson this week... Came first out of his whole year in the 100mtrs sprint... I was so proud of him and your games teacher Mr Fetchi even praised him up to Danielle...
She's struggling with her exams at the moment poor soul... I think your death has hit her harder than she'd like to admit and she's always had difficultiy with exams... Not too sure which way she's going to jump at the moment - either staying in school for the last year or going to college...
Naeve's fine... Toddling along in her own sweet way telling the world how to do everything the way she always does... She talks about you a lot...
Daddy's doing ok too... Putting up with my temper being a bit all over the place at the moment...
I'm muddling along ok... Actually managed to sleep at night time last night and poured a candle for the first time in ages too... Enjoyed it and been test burning it today... I miss you so very, very much though... I keep looking at your photographs and just wondering where you are... It makes no sense really - it's almost as if you've just nipped off to Ty Hafan for a few days break and I keep expecting my nightly phone call or for you to come home...
Sarah cleaned out Peanut's cage today... That's one fat hamster you've got there CeeJay...;-)
Take care my son and where ever you are... Have fun, live it large, and come visit me in my dreams some time...
Love you x
In tears I saw you sinking,
I watched you fade away.
You suffered much in silence,
And you fought so hard to stay.
You faced your task with courage,
Your spirit did not bend,
And still you kept on fighting,
Until the very end.
God saw that you were getting tired,
It was so plain to see.
So he put his arms around you
And whispered "Come to me".
And when I saw you sleeping,
So peaceful and free from pain.
I could not wish to bring you back,
To suffer that again.
Your laughter and your smile my son,
I miss most every day.
I keep one hope close to my heart,
That you can run and jump and play.
Love you x
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